Recently, a colleague who, the week after earning her PhD, said that she wants a man to come into her life to tell her how to dress and what to do.
That conversation reminded me of a former roommate saying he wanted to go to grad school because he “just wasn’t ready for the responsibility of making his own decisions in life.” And then of course the US election has (finally) concluded and the “I feel powerless” tweets have begun.
The combination of these 3 events has me thinking…
I think we all want someone else to be in charge sometimes.
As children, many of us are well trained to give our authority to others. An easy example is in school when you have to ask permission– and sometimes be denied– to use the bathroom. FYI my sister’s a teacher so I also understand the reasons this is done. Or also in school, where we are trained to sit still for hours and hours and to learn / demonstrate learning in one “right” way.
Deferral of authority isn’t inherently bad or wrong, but I do think it’s worth asking:
Where would you like to give away your authority?
There is value in not always being in control. Simply having the awareness of which areas of your life you don’t like to be the authority is useful. You can always change what you want to in your own time.
I’ve been probing into myself, and I haven’t liked everything I discovered, but it’s a net positive to understand myself better.
One area that I LOVE to give up control is in sports.
I’m training for an international diving competition in August 2025 (more on that in an upcoming video btw). I want a coach to tell me what to work on and make me do drills that I don’t want to do **.
In training, I have created a container where I actively and enthusiastically consent to not being in charge.
It is a major responsibility to direct your life. You’re doing amazingly with the information and resources you have access to!
And sometimes, it feels really good to be a passenger princess, so let yourself have those spaces too.
Much love and emotional fortitude 🤎
